


I'm A Trust Fund Baby You Can Trust Me

by distressed_plant



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A little angst, Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bratty Felix, Chan Works in Mail Order, Changbin dead built like a baked bean, Eventual Smut, Felix is a Trust Fund kid, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medium Burn, This is the mail order au no one asked for but you're getting anyways, sweet chan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:27:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28840875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distressed_plant/pseuds/distressed_plant
Summary: Felix is a trust fund baby finally forced to get his life together. Problem is, he has no idea where to start.Enter Bang Chan: full-time broke college student who somehow manages to help Felix adapt to real life through the wonders of Mail Order.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 22
Kudos: 78





	1. The Lion, The Witch, and The Audacity of This Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the Mail Order/University AU that no one wanted. I have a job in mail order so this will be mainly based on my own experiences, I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> I'll try to update often, but we'll see how it goes. Class starts tomorrow for me, but I want to have a new chapter up soon! 
> 
> Thank you so much Lou for being my beta! My whole heart goes out to you. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

The audacity. 

The fucking  _ audacity. _

Felix glared at his phone (his brand new iPhone 12 Pro Max in a gold finish, thank you very little) as he listened to his mother’s scratchy voice berate him in words that the 22-year-old had never heard in his life. 

“Sweetie, we just want you to be prepared for the real world. You need to be able to care for yourself, you won’t have your trust fund your whole life, and you need to learn how to be out in the workforce.” He heard her sigh. “You refuse to be involved in the company, and you need to be able to earn a living.” 

Felix gesticulated wildly, even though he knew his mom couldn’t see it. “So you’re taking my trust fund? The money I use to  _ live _ ?” His voice raised to a high screech. “How the fuck does that make sense?”

“Lee Felix!” His dad barked, “Don’t you dare curse at your mother. Show some respect.”

Felix glowered and took a long sip from his venti iced coffee (non-fat milk, x2 vanilla syrup, double whip).

“We set up that trust fund so you could pay for things that you  _ need. _ Food, rent, tuition, and a few luxuries here and there.” Felix eyed his closet and the collection of shopping bags from the high-end stores around his apartment. “We did  _ NOT _ give you that money so you could take bi-monthly trips to the Caribbean with all your friends!” 

“But dad,” Felix whined, pouting at his phone. “Those  _ are  _ needs. School is really hard, and I need time to decompress and to take care of my mental health.” 

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Felix.” Felix flinched slightly at his father’s tone of voice. “You passed  _ one  _ class last semester. One! You’re failing out of college. Dr. Moon said that if you fail more than one class this semester she has no choice but to kick you out.” 

Felix rolled his eyes. Truth be told he didn’t really give a shit about school. He’d failed his college entrance exams  _ badly _ , and the only reason he’d been accepted into the university was because the university president was good friends with his parents. They’d gone to school back in the day, and Dr. Moon owed his parents a favor, and apparently, this was it. 

Felix had tried a little in the beginning-- college was a new experience after all, but he found nearly everything boring beyond words, so he just stopped caring after a while. He’d decided to focus more on the social aspect of college-- parties, mainly, and also fucking every buff, hot guy he could get his dainty little hands on. 

He wasn’t really concerned about money at all, wasn’t too concerned about getting any kind of degree. It’s not like he didn’t have money to do whatever he wanted anyway.

Well, until now that is.

“And you’ll be expected to get a job next semester.” 

Felix choked on his drink, staring at his phone in shock.

“A  _ what? _ ”

“You heard me, Felix. You’ll be expected to get a job.” 

Felix looked around his room, unable to comprehend the  _ fucking audacity  _ of his father. “What am I supposed to do?! There’s nowhere around here that’s even close to my standards.” 

What were his standards?

Well for one, Felix was  _ not  _ going to work in a nasty kitchen or spend his days smiling sickly sweet to customers. The thought of someone else telling him what to do, when he knew that his father alone made their yearly salary in a day, made him gag. He was the son of a CEO, who was he to work in a place such as that?

He could consider being a sugar baby, he liked that idea. The thought of someone paying for him to just stand around, look pretty, and fuck every once in a while. The problem with that is that more often than not, those guys turned out to be pretty fucking creepy, and Felix was not looking to get murdered in his early 20’s when he still had so much of his life to live. 

So, what exactly was he supposed to do?

“Well, that sounds like something you need to figure out. We were supportive when you said that you didn’t want to go into the company, but you need to do something with your life. You’re going to school so you can get a degree so that you can support yourself.” His father sighed. “Have you declared a major yet?” 

“No,” Felix said, totally over the conversation. “There’s nothing that I want to do. I hate everything that this prison offers.” 

His father inhaled and exhaled, and Felix knew that sound. He quickly closed his eyes and braced himself.

“You need to declare this semester so you better figure out what the fuck you want to do. I’m so sick of you thinking that you’re entitled to everything in life. Your mother and I made a mistake spoiling you for as long as we have. You will get a degree, and if you fail out of college, consider yourself disowned.” 

Felix flinched at the seriousness of his father’s voice and allowed his words to sink in slowly. He wouldn’t really disown him… right? He heard his mother’s voice try to calm his father down, and Felix could picture it: his father sitting in his chair, white-knuckling his glass of brandy, a scowl etched on his face, his mother in one of her long beautiful gowns standing beside him. 

It made him sick to his stomach. 

“I-” Felix started, but his father beat him to it. 

“I am tired of your ungrateful attitude, I am tired if you coasting through life with no goals, only fucking around doing whatever it is you’re doing. You said you didn’t want to inherit the company, which is fine, but you need to do some fucking work.”

Felix stared at the phone, his heart sinking. 

“You will go to school, you  _ will  _ do well, and you will get a job so that  _ you _ can pay for the things that you need. Maybe then you’ll gain an appreciation for the money that up until now I have so freely given to you.” He heard soft clinks, probably the ice in his father’s glass, and then his father spoke again. 

“I will allow you to keep $15,000. Use that for things that you need. If you spend it well, you should be able to live for a few months by yourself, but it won’t last forever, so be frugal.” 

Felix’s heart went from sinking to crashing through the floor.  _ $15,000? How was he supposed to survive on that? That was chump change! _

“You will be allowed to have access to your trust fund again if you work hard for the next two semesters. If you can get and  **keep** a job and keep your grades up, we will slowly allow access back, but one slip up and you start back at square one. Do you understand?” 

The finality in his father’s voice terrified him, he’d never been given an ultimatum like this before in his life. Felix was staring blankly at his phone on the table, the glare of the sunlight through the floor-to-ceiling windows barely registered to him, his mind preoccupied with the conversation that had just occurred. 

“I-”

“ **Do you understand, Lee Felix?** ” His dad growled into the phone. Felix’s heart skipped and the blood drained from his face at the sound. He squeaked out a quick  _ yes _ and went quiet again, twisting his fingers in the fabric of his Versace shirt to calm himself. His dad sighed. 

“Good. I hope you’ll do well Felix, I really hope you do. It doesn’t give me any pleasure to do this to you.”   
  
_ Sure it doesn’t.  _ Felix thought bitterly.

“It’s what’s best for you.” His dad paused. “I’d get in contact with the university soon-- tuition is due in a few days and I know that you haven’t paid it.” 

Felix groaned at the thought but quieted himself quickly. 

“Remember. You have 15,000 to start. Use it wisely. Goodbye, if you need advice you’re welcome to call us.”

_ I’d rather cut off my own foot. _ Felix thought, before muttering a soft “Okay, bye.” and hanging up. 

Felix sat there for a little while, staring at the screen of his phone and thinking about everything that’d just transpired. His father would disown him? Felix had a hard time believing that. His father was one of the most prominent individuals in the business world, a CEO of a  _ major  _ company. The knowledge that Felix would not be taking over the company had been a hard enough hit, Felix’s dad couldn’t afford to publicly disown his own son. 

And yet, a seed of doubt planted itself in his mind.  _ But what if he’s serious? _

Felix scoffed. “Fucking ridiculous.” he muttered, getting up and stalking over to his desk. He opened his laptop and quickly opened up his bank account because his father couldn’t be  _ that  _ cruel, right?

**_Current Balance: $15,000.00_ **

Felix groaned and closed his eyes, running his hands through his white hair and gripping the strands near his head tightly. How could his parents do this to him? He didn’t know the first thing about money, except how to spend it. Felix sighed and looked back up at his computer screen. He twisted his lips into a sneer before snapping his laptop shut and resolutely grabbing his purse and sunglasses. 

His parents wouldn’t risk having a struggling son on their image, and Felix knew that he had his mom totally wrapped around his finger. If he couldn’t convince her with words, he’d find some other way to do it, the only way he knew how. 

_ Time to go blow some money.  _ Felix thought resolutely, stalking out of his apartment with an air of confidence and his $3,200 Louis Vuitton purse resting in the crook of his elbow.

====

Felix sighed sleepily as he waltzed into his apartment after an exhausting day. He’d been to stores all over the city and none of them had had the handbag that he’d been looking for. He’d had to tear the girl behind the counter a new one because she had the audacity to have an attitude with him. He took off his sunglasses and tossed them unceremoniously onto his desk.  _ The fucking nerve of people _ he thought bitterly. 

He walked over to his dining room table and unloaded his haul from the day-- Three new Vetements shirts from the pop-up store, a new set of white Louboutin heels (he was so excited to get the last in his size), and a few (7) pairs of limited edition sneakers that would match a few of the new outfits he’d bought that day as well. Afterward, he had taken himself out to a nice lunch in one of the most expensive restaurants in the city, booking a private room with a perfect view of the city skyline and the river that ran through it. 

He truly had had an exhausting day. He took a glance at his bank account when he sat down at his desk. 

**_Pending Balance: $9345.23_ **

He smirked. He knew he’d checkmated his parents now. The rent on his apartment  _ alone _ was a little less than 4,000 a month, add on his $6,000 tuition, and there was no way that he was going to be able to pay for it on what he had now. He just had to sit and wait for the money train to flow again, and he could get back to his normal life. 

He knew his dad checked the finances once every three hours-- with such a large company and with his dad being such a control freak, he liked to know the status of everything at all times, especially the financials. Felix sighed and made himself a nice cocktail with some of the expensive liquor that his mother had shipped to him last month.

Once his mother catches wind that her precious baby won’t be able to afford to feed, house,  _ and _ send himself to school, she’ll have no choice but to step in. He smirked and looked out the floor-ceiling windows, scheming eyes taking in the beautiful city lights. 

Even if his mother couldn’t do anything about it, there’s no way his father would risk having a homeless, college dropout son. He valued his image too much to allow it. 

_ Right? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter while listening to Maknae on Top and the Tik Tok mashups of the Wellerman on a 3hr loop,,,,,,,,,


	2. What (And I Cannot Stress This Enough) The Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again Lou for being an amazing beta, and thank you to Twitter for yelling at me continuously as motivation <3
> 
> Enjoy~

**_Current Balance: $5214.70_ **

Felix was panicking, properly panicking. 

His parents, his dad specifically, had immediately caught wind of what he was trying to do and shut it down right quick.  _ That  _ had been a really fun phone call. 

_ “You think you can act like a little brat and get away with it? Huh? Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” His dad screamed through the phone. Felix was laying in bed, pillow pressed to his chest, staring blankly as he opted not to answer the last question his father had asked.  _

_ “You know, your mother had convinced me to allow you to have access to your fund earlier than I’d intended. I was going to check in on you in a month to see if your grades were good and if you were working and see if you deserved any of the money early, but after pulling a stunt like this? Absolutely fucking not.” His father spat venomously. Felix clenched his eyes shut and curled into himself a little bit.  _

_ “I may never give you money again, I haven’t decided yet. This was such a stupid move on your part Felix. You know, I was just going to have you pay for the basics-- rent, tuition, food-- and I would cover your phone bill and car insurance, but you know what?” His dad laughed, and Felix could almost physically feel the anger seeping through the phone.  _

_ “Fuck you, you wanna act like a brat? Do you think you can get anything you want by throwing a little temper tantrum?” His dad laughed again, “Pay for all your shit yourself, and I mean all of it. If you play your cards right then I might consider letting you have access again next semester. But that is only if you show a steep curve of improvement. Otherwise? You’re on your own, for good.”  _

_ Felix clenched his eyes shut and buried his face in his pillow.  _ ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…’  _ he thought to himself.  _

_“Don’t contact me. Don’t contact your mother. I’m so fucking pissed at you. Pay your tuition and get your ass in gear or I will disown you_ ** _and_** _make you pay back all the money I’ve wasted on you starting from the day you were fucking born. You’re a disgrace.”_

_ Then there was silence, his father had hung up.  _

That had been two days ago, and Felix had been on the verge of a breakdown every second that had elapsed since. The first of the month had passed since then, and Felix’s dad moved quickly. Felix’s rent had automatically been withdrawn, and Felix’s dad had made it so that his phone and insurance came out at the beginning of the month too, and all of it at once, in addition to the final ultimatum, was nearly too much for Felix. 

Felix had known his whole life that his father held disdain for him. His sisters had always been the family favorites. Rachel, the true heir to the company now that Felix wanted nothing to do with it, was perfect for that position. She was poised, professional, brilliant, and she was ruthless in the business world. 

Olivia, who was set to become Rachel’s right-hand woman after she finished business school, was equal parts brilliant as she was charismatic. Where Rachel was ruthless and brash, Oliva was the balance, able to talk investors into deals easily through nothing but the power of persuasion and charm. They were the perfect heirs to their father’s insane legacy. And in the grand scheme of things, what was Felix?

Felix wasn’t anything to his father. The official picture from Felix’s birth showed his father with the deepest frown on his face-- the same one that always greeted Felix when he arrived home. For comparison, Rachel and Olivia’s pictures were some of the only times that Felix had ever seen evidence that his father  _ could _ smile. 

Felix curled up in the bed that he had hardly left over the last few days. How could he be so stupid as to think that his father wouldn’t care if he’d dropped out or became homeless? He’d hardly cared about Felix his whole life, just shoving money and a fund at him to keep Felix from getting in his way. Now that Oliva was set to graduate early and she and Rachel could start to solidify their place in the company, his dad didn’t need to care about Felix any more. 

Felix hid his face in his arms, trying very very hard not to cry. He was such a fucking idiot. He stayed like that for a few moments, curled around himself, anger and sadness and worry swirling within him like a whirlwind. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t even know where to start. 

A thought came to him and Felix lifted his head from the pillow, quickly reaching out and snatching his phone. 

**Rich Bitches 🤑🤑**

**_BitchLix_ **

_ SOS yall, I need help.  _

The replies came in almost instantly. 

**_Sugarbaby Byun_ **

_ Omg baby what’s wrong?  _

**_Worldwide Hand$ome_ **

_ Did a poor try to touch you again  _ 🤢🤮 _?? _

**_$$$$an_ **

_ I swear... _

_ I’ll come to knock them into their rightful  _

_ place just say the word  _

  
  


**_Thicc A$$ Mochi_ **

_ Did you spill lipstick in your bag again?? Sis, you can’t keep _

_ doing this,,,, I hope it wasn’t your white one that one is gorg _

**_DivaWon_ **

_ Lix what’s up bby? _

Felix bit his lip and exhaled shakily. He did  _ not  _ want to start crying in the middle of this. 

**_BitchLix_ **

_ Something happened and I don’t know what to do _

**_$$$$an_ **

_ Lemon juice gets blood out of clothes _

**_Bitchlix_ **

_ San what the fuck are you talking about _

  
  


**_$$$$an_ **

_ Look im just trying to help  _

_ Did you kill someone? _

**_Bitchlix_ **

_ No nothing like that, but I might soon _

**_DivaWon_ **

_ Just fucking tell us omg _

  
  


**_BitchLix_ **

_ God fine _

_ so.. you know how my dad hates me _

  
  


**_Thicc Ass Mochi_ **

_ Oh yeah _

**_$ugarbaby Byun_ **

_ That’s been established yes _

  
  


**_Worldwide Hand$ome_ **

_ What about him?  _

**_BitchLix_ **

_ He… he revoked my trust fund _

_ I can’t access it anymore… _

_ Guys what do I do. _

  
  


Felix threw his phone to the side and buried his face back in the pillow. He didn’t know why, but telling his friends seemed almost… wrong. As soon as he’d sent the text his heart had dropped through the floor and a newfound feeling of dread settled in him, though he wasn’t sure why. He and his friends tell each other everything, there was no reason to feel this way. 

They’d been together for years, seeing as all their families were members of the elite in the business world. Jin and Jimin were brothers, sons of a huge oil and natural gas baron, so naturally, they had money flowing out of everywhere. In addition, Jin married the son of another high-profile oil baron, Kim Namjoon, and together the two were some of the youngest in their business. 

Baekhyun was the sugar baby/lowkey boyfriend of Park Chanyeol, the CEO of a very powerful tech company. Baekhyun himself came from money, but now that he was Chanyeol’s, he was richer than over half of the world just from his weekly allowance. The boy had more precious stones on him at any given time than any monarch at any point in history.

San and Hyungwon were brothers-in-law, through the marriage between San’s older sister and Hyungwon’s older brother. The two spent a lot of time together now, and San was studying to be a doctor, while Hyungwon was set to enter the business of his father who ran a very high-profile accounting firm.

They’d been all over the world together, shared laughs and fun times. Felix remembers fondly when Jin once tore a stewardess a new one because she spilled champagne on the floor of his jet. They’d sat on the white sands of the Caribbean for days afterward laughing at the look on her face as Jin fired her nearly on the spot. They’d been friends forever, and Felix attributed a lot of his lifestyle to them.

Jin had given him his first Rolex and took him to Paris for the first time. Felix had lost his virginity (and then some) to Baekhyun, and the elder often showered Felix with very expensive jewelry. San had gotten Felix hooked on Louis Vuitton. Hyungwon had shown him many things when it came to the world of expensive suits and clothes. Jimin knew how to make sure that Felix had unforgettable birthdays and other events by flying him all over the world at the drop of a dime.

They were his friends, they’d surely help him. 

Felix picked up his phone after calming down for a moment and checked his messages, but was a little taken aback when he noticed that there weren’t any. He blinked twice and went into the group chat again to make sure that he’d actually sent it. He had, and it had been seen by everyone. 

“Maybe they’re just busy.” Felix muttered to himself, closing his phone and flopping down like a starfish. He knew that he needed to get up and try to figure out how he was going to pay tuition, seeing as that was due in like three days. Felix groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn’t have nearly enough money to pay for it, how on fucking earth was he supposed to do all this shit himself. 

He spent a few minutes cursing his parents' names. 

A few  _ dings _ caught his attention and he reached over to grab his phone. As he opened it, his heart nearly stopped.

**_Worldwide Hand$ome_ **

_ Hi Felix. So we’ve been talking, and we all agree that _

_ you aren’t really qualified to be around us anymore, you know? _

_ If you don’t have access to your fund anymore then _

_ You aren’t really a ‘Rich Bitch’ anymore, you’re just a kid _

_ who has a rich daddy but nothing to show for it. _

_ Something like this happened with Seonghwa a  _

_ while ago, remember? So per your own rule, this is what _

_ we’ve decided to do.  _

_ We can’t exactly be seen supporting and paying for someone _

_ else you know? That defeats the whole purpose of our group _

_ Anyways, don’t contact us unless you get your trust fund back,  _

_ we won’t hesitate to block, as you well know! _

Felix laid there and let the words sink in.  _ Abandoned _ was the first word that his mind supplied, and he felt despair bubble in his chest. It was quickly overcome with a wave of bitterness and anger. How could they do this to him? He quickly went into the group chat to give them an earful, but the group chat wasn’t there anymore. 

“Fuckers.” Felix spat, closing his phone and throwing it to the side. So they’d removed him from the chat and dropped him just like that? Felix sighed, staring sadly at his thin, shaking fingers before running them through his hair. Sixteen years of friendship, gone. Just like that. Felix was still reeling from it when he decided to sit up. 

“I don’t need them anyway.” he muttered to himself, grabbing his laptop and navigating to the bursar page to try to pay his tuition, scowl on his face. How dare they cast him aside like he’s a scrap of meat? If it weren’t for him, they never would have become friends, and now they think they don't need him?

Well, then he doesn’t need them either. Felix would figure this shit out on his own, and at the end of the day, he’d get his fund back, and then they’d be begging for him to come back, and he’d tell them to fuck off. 

“You can do this, you’re the baddest bitch you know.” He whispered to himself. “A little roadblock like this isn’t enough to phase you.” 

Felix swallowed shakily and tried very hard to believe his own words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops angst
> 
> it took me forever to come up with a title for this
> 
> next chapter coming soon~


	3. Garden Snake vs. King Cobra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone say thank you Lou for being an amazing beta~
> 
> And thank you Twitter for encouraging me in my writing :)

**_Current Balance: $ 5201.36_ **

The inside of Dr. Moons’ office was a decent size, with dark cherry furniture and floor to ceiling windows behind her desk. There were a lot of plants around, and Felix noticed that the Devil's Ivy hanging behind her desk was so long that it was nearly touching the floor. Dr. Moon sat behind her desk, grey hair pin-straight and her white blouse pressed into crisp lines. Despite the color of her hair, her face was smooth, nothing but the slight crow's feet under her eyes indicating her age. 

She motioned to the chair in front of her desk and Felix, who had been standing there for a few moments already, sat down silently. 

“Hello Felix, it’s been a long time.” She said, her voice even. Felix nodded and twisted his fingers in a rubber band that he’d found at the bottom of his bag.

“I must be honest,” she said again, looking away from him to fiddle with one of the plants on her desk. “I was very shocked when you requested a meeting with me.” She looked back to him and he could see the spite shimmering in her light green eyes. Felix bit his lip to keep his mouth from running away, as it is so prone to doing. He needed to play this right.

“I’m sure you know about my current situation.” Felix was surprised at the evenness of his own voice when he spoke, but kept his surprise to himself. 

Dr. Moon smirked ever so slightly and tapped her fingernails against the desk. “I do. I must admit, I’m shocked that your parents didn’t do something like this before.” 

Felix bristled, but she continued before he could get a word in. “When we were younger your parents were ruthless, wouldn’t hesitate to dismiss anyone who wasn’t to their liking, especially your father.” There was a twinge of malice in her voice, and Felix knew the next words out of her mouth before she even spoke them. 

“He must really care for you.” 

Felix’s nails were digging into his leg at this point, the pain cutting through the fabric of his skinny jeans and drawing him back to reality. He cannot blow up here and blow any opportunity to help himself. Dr. Moon was just like his parents, she ran a University, and what was a University but a business by a different name? 

Everything here was politics, just like in his parents' company, just like in their world. Felix never liked politics, didn’t like playing into someone else's hand for the sake of saving face. That was the game that Dr. Moon played though, and Felix had to play along. Had Felix been a normal student, and not the disgraced son of her childhood friends (who just so happened to be huge CEOs), this meeting would have gone very differently.

Felix took a breath and did his best to calm himself, to allow the stinging words to flow away and into a box where he could deal with it later. Snake dances like this were familiar to him, it had just been a while since he’d dealt with a snake as skilled as Dr. Moon. He could do it though. Felix put on a fake smile and made his move. 

“I’m sure he does, but with all due respect, I’m not here to discuss my relationship with my father.” He did well in keeping his voice calm, but there was a slight twinge of bitterness when he mentioned his father, a note that Dr. Moon picked up on with a raise of her eyebrow. She didn’t comment on it though. 

“I’m here to discuss what I can do to ensure that I can still attend classes this semester.” Felix bit his lip, hesitant to continue, but knew that he had to. “As of right now, I’m afraid that I don’t have enough to attend full time, and I would like to discuss my options.” 

Dr. Moon leaned back in her chair, one knee crossed over the other and her thin, boney hands resting on her knee. Her eyes were searching, scheming, looking for anything in Felix’s expression that she could exploit. Felix steeled himself, keeping his face blank and professional. 

“Ah, that’s interesting.” She leaned forward on her elbows, fingers laced together in front of her face. “Because I heard that you had $15,000 to live for the next few months. Our current full-time tuition is around $5,700. So, by default, you should have more than enough.” Her eyes shone with malice and Felix bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from lashing out. 

“Unless, of course, you’ve wasted it all already.” She said, staring at Felix, waiting to elicit a reaction. Felix bristled again, knowing that she was just trying to rile him up.  _ Don’t play into her game, Lix.  _ He thought to himself. 

His eye twitched involuntarily, which drew a smirk from the snake sitting in front of him, but he forced himself to keep his face neutral in all other aspects. 

“A… series of unfortunate mistakes led to my initial allowance depleting so quickly.” He said, shifting in his chair and trying to will away the tension headache that was forming. “I’ve come to discuss my options as far as payment goes. If I remember correctly, the university allows for students to pay in increments if they cannot afford the full amount at once.” 

Dr. Moon studied Felix’s face for a few moments, and Felix could see her wrestling with the decision to keep testing him, or to yield and allow him the information he came for. He sat there for so long, he started scratching at his pant leg to distract himself from the anxiety welling within him, but he kept his expression schooled and neutral.

“Very well.” 

Felix audibly exhaled, his shoulders relaxing and his anxiety quelling a little bit. She decided that he’d passed her tests. As she reached over to her filing cabinet, Felix noted how the gold bangle on her wrist caught the sun, and he was about to ask her where she got it, but stopped himself short. That most certainly wouldn’t gain him any points with her, especially when he was here on the topic of lack of money. 

She pulled out a stack of paper and rifled through them a bit. 

“Yes, we do allow students to pay in increments when they cannot immediately pay in full. There is an application fee, and after that, an adjusted amount is removed once a month for four months.” She pulled a few papers out of the stack and put the rest back. “However, there is something else you need to be aware of.” 

Felix looked at her warily, not liking the tone of her voice. 

“As you know, you did abysmally last semester,” she said bluntly. “You failed every class except general chemistry, and because of that, you’ve been placed on academic probation.”

Upon seeing Felix’s confused face, she elaborated. “Academic probation means that if you fail even one class this semester, we kick you out of the university.” 

Felix gulped and nodded. “So what can I do then?” 

Dr. Moon moved over to her computer and clicked a few buttons, scanning her eyes over something on her monitor. The sudden silence brought the anxiety in Felix’s chest back to the surface and he started scratching at his pants again, eyes drifting to the plants that were hanging from the ceiling, swaying ever so slightly in the breeze produced by the buildings Air Con. 

“Actually, being on academic probation might benefit you.” 

Felix looked at her inquisitively, and she continued without pause. 

“When students are on academic probation, we only allow them to take a maximum of 3 classes. Because tuition is based on how many classes you’re taking, tuition is adjusted accordingly. So, that being said,” She pulled out a calculator and typed away for a few moments. 

“Your tuition will drop from 5,700 to a little under 3,000.” 

Felix blinked, shocked that his own failure last semester could actually be potentially beneficial in this scenario. Dr. Moon looked at him and Felix nodded, accepting her answer. 

“Alright, that actually works out well. I haven’t signed up for any classes though, and I’m not sure what to sign up for…” He trailed off at the end, watching her blank look shift to an unimpressed one. 

“You really have no idea how to navigate life, do you?” 

Felix narrowed his eyes at her and pursed his lips, but she paid him no more mind and went about looking at something on her computer. Felix thought about her words while she was looking through his file and bitterly came to the realization that she was absolutely right. 

Normally he had people doing this for him. He never had to worry about paying for school or signing up for classes or buying books, it was all just done for him. Felix was running blind now, though, and he knew that the learning curve was steep. He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to climb it himself, but asking Dr. Moon for more help than he was already asking for was out of the question.

His next obstacle after this was trying to find a job, and he didn’t even know where to begin with that… maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask her, since he was here.

“Dr. Moon,” Felix said, hoping that nervousness wasn't palpable in his voice. “I don't know of any jobs around here, and seeing as I’ve never been in the situation where I had to look for one, I was wondering if there was anything that you could recommend to me that might be beneficial to my…situation.” 

Dr. Moon raised an eyebrow in curiosity but did not answer his question immediately. Felix scratched his leg to distract himself from the silence. 

“Let’s tackle one thing at a time, shall we?” 

Over the next hour, she and Felix talked about his classes and how he had to declare a major this semester per the rules of the university. Felix didn’t really know what he wanted to do, but since he’d done well in biology and decently in chemistry (enough to pass at least), he decided to go for a biology major. 

Felix was pouty because for a semester on academic probation, the classes he’d been forced to sign up for (microbiology, calculus, and psychology) were difficult, but at least he only had to take three. Dr. Moon was nice enough to print out a list of books that he would need, so at least he could go get one of the people who worked at the bookstore to help him with that. 

“So, you were talking about needing a job.” 

Felix was drawn from his thoughts and nodded limply. 

“Well, there’s a new opening at the bookstore, and before you protest,” She raised her finger when Felix opened his mouth to protest because like  _ hell _ was he working retail, “You may want to think about the fact that you will be working for the university, and if you can keep the job for six months, your tuition is waived.”

Felix closed his open mouth and considered her words. They looked at each other while Felix thought about it, and this allowed her to speak again. 

“And you may want to also consider the fact that I can get you this job quite easily, despite your shitty attitude. If you want to go out and find a different job, you’re welcome to, but I can tell you right now that no one will hire you with the kind of attitude that you have presented over the years.” 

Felix flinched as if smacked and flared his nostrils in anger. He opened his mouth to spit a response back, but she held a hand up “I don’t need your sass. Do you want the job or not?”

Felix glared holes in her.  _ How dare you talk to me that way! _ He thought, mentally wringing her neck, but he nodded anyway. It was by no means perfect, and Felix would rather do (almost) anything other than be a lowly retail pleb, but it’s not like he had a lot of options, and this one would allow him to not pay tuition next semester, so that was a plus. Dr. Moon smirked and looked back to her computer. 

“I’ll send an email to the store manager and let him know that you’re coming. Look out for an email for him, you’ll probably start in 2 days. They’re in the middle of rush, so it’s all hands on deck.” 

Felix looked down at the collection of papers she suddenly pushed at him. 

“Fill these out and bring them to the store on your first day. Brian will need them to get you fully set up. As far as classes and tuition go, you’re all set, you just need to go in and pay it.” Felix nodded and she waved him away. “You can go now.” 

  
Felix didn’t take kindly to being dismissed in such a rude manner, but he figured that he’d take it out on someone else as opposed to the woman who was setting up a job for him. He nodded, thanked her, and stood up, papers in one hand and purse in another. Just as he was about to leave, her voice reached him again. 

“Remember Felix, this is not the norm. If you screw up at this job and they fire you, I won’t be helping you again. And next semester you’re on your own. Consider this a favor, something to show that I don’t hate you  _ as much. _ ”

Felix knew that her words were not meant to be kind. They were a warning. He turned to her, locked eyes with her, and thanked her again for everything. He could see the malice swirling in her eyes, and he knew that she would be waiting for the email from whoever this ‘Brian’ was saying that he’d been fired within two hours of his shift. 

As he left the office, his grip on the papers in his hand grew stronger, turning his knuckles white as he glared holes in the floor. He was tired of people looking at him or talking to him as though they were expecting him to fail. He’d show Dr. Moon, he’d show his parents, his shit ass ‘friends’. Felix could do this on his own, even if it was out of spite and nothing more. 

He could do this, he would do this. Not like he really had a choice anyway. 

=====

Brian was the physical embodiment of high blood pressure, so much so that Felix didn’t know how he was still alive. 

“Sorry about that,” he said exasperatedly, sitting down quite roughly after having been called away right in the middle of Felix’s interview.

Brian was young, younger than Felix would have assumed, with kind (if tired) eyes, and brown hair that didn’t seem to want to stay in one place for very long. He was wearing a plain blue button-up and khakis, and Felix could tell just by the look of them that the outfit must have cost 6$ collectively. He fought back a grimace at the sight of such  _ cheap _ clothing on someone who was supposed to be his superior. 

“So, Felix, where were we?” The question must have been rhetorical because he answered his own question almost instantly. “Right! So tell me what your strengths are, so I can have a good idea of where to put you.” 

Felix blinked. Strengths? Unless you count blowing $50,000 in a six-hour period a strength, Felix wasn’t sure he had any. 

“Oh, um… well, I don’t think that I’d be very good interacting with the, ah…general public.” He motioned to the outside to accentuate his point. “I’d rather do my own thing and not interact with people as much as possible.” 

Brian’s face relaxed a bit when he heard Felix’s answer, which surprised Felix a little, but he felt relieved that he managed to do something right in this interview. 

“You don’t know how happy you just made me, I know exactly where to put you.” 

Felix blinked, “Oh, that’s great-” 

“How’s your hand-eye coordination?” 

“My wha-” The suddenness of the question caught Felix off guard a bit and he stuttered out a quick answer “I-its fine I guess?” 

“Can you read and copy information from one paper to another?” 

“Yea-”

“If you  _ had _ to work with someone else, would you be able to do it?” Brian's eyes shone with hope, but the questions were coming too fast for Felix to really think of an answer. 

“I mean yeah I guess? Why-”   
  


“Welcome to the team! I know exactly where to put you, and you start right now.” 

Felix blinked a bit, and his autopilot took over as he reached out to shake Brian's outstretched hand. “Uh, th-that’s great… but um, what exactly will I be doing?”

His question went unanswered as Brian quickly ushered him out of the office, telling him to follow him as they made their way to the very back of the (extremely large) bookstore. Felix looked around at all the memorabilia for the school and noted that, for a bookstore, there seemed to be a serious lack of textbooks.

He was about to ask where he was going again when they reached a set of large double doors, Brian turned to him and smiled, pushing one open and gesturing inside. 

“Welcome to Mail Order!” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was 100% written to the extended version of Misty Mountains Cold on repeat. 
> 
> Also, the moment you've all been waiting for............
> 
> Chan is coming next chapter! 
> 
> I just had to give everything a little bit of context, you know? But now we can really start getting into the meat of it all! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy~


End file.
